Generational Conversations

Excerpt from Daily Cures, Wisdom for Healthy Aging by Connie Mason Michaelis

Terry Gross has done thousands of interviews over her four-decade career on NPR’s Fresh Air. She says, “Tell me about yourself is the only icebreaker you’ll ever need.” She explains that these are the only four words you need to navigate a potentially awkward conversation, whether in a social setting, business, or meeting someone for the first time. It is undoubtedly an open-ended question and might lead to additional questions and a need for explanation. Genuine curiosity about the other individual is the basis of the query. It would become apparent quickly if you had no genuine interest in the other person. If it is someone you already know, it could be modified to, “Tell me what you’ve been up to for the last month, year, decade.”

I’ve been applying this simple concept to inter-generational conversations. What a great question to ask a 96-year-old or a 16-year-old? I can only imagine that it might take some prodding to get the 16-year-old to dig deeper, but how enlightening would it be? Of course, interviewing a person and having a conversation with them are two different things, but the common thread is to try to understand what the other person is communicating. Gross says, “I can respond to what somebody is saying by expressing if I’m feeling sympathy or empathy, and explaining why.” It is so vital for all of us to become good listeners and make an effort to hear the other person. There is a great deal of talk about generation gaps, but the truth is, all of our stories---if we listen to them---are very similar. We must take the time to ask the question and listen for the full answer. Mary Kay Ash, the founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics,  always said, “People have an invisible sign around their neck that says make me feel important.” Nothing shines a light on another like, “Tell me about yourself.”