Excerpt from daily Cures, Wisdom for Healthy Aging by Connie Mason Michaelis
The first commandment with a promise is, “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, so that your days may be long.” I meet people every day who are doing their best to honor their parents. Why is it such a struggle? Suggesting a move to a smaller home or retirement community may be perceived as an insult. Our desire for safety and our parents’ desire for independence seems to be at odds. Then on occasion, it is the opposite; the kids are saying don’t leave the family home, and the parents are ready to unload the burden.
There is an interesting but sad parable about a family that enjoys dinner every night around their table. The 90-year-old grandmother lived in a room upstairs, and the evening ritual included taking a tin plate upstairs to her room with the same meal that everyone else ate downstairs. Often she would drop and break the china plates, and she was prone to spilling and being messy. It was easier to have her in the bedroom because otherwise, she would dominate the conversation with repeated questions. Then one day, grandmother passed away. The family grieved her passing, but soon after, they cleaned out the little bedroom. The father handed one of the kids the tin plate and told him to throw it away. After some thought, the child looked at his dad and said, “Dad, we can’t throw it away, someday we’ll need it for your dinner.”
Honoring our parents comes in many forms. As my sisters and I took care of mom in her later years, I remembered this story. In all of her stubbornness, we tried hard to honor her wishes. I hope my kids will do the same for me. And I promise I will do my best to make it easy on them!
“Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, so that your days may be long.” The Bible
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