Make Friends with Change

Excerpt from daily Cures, Wisdom for Healthy Aging Connie Mason Michaelis

Be a string, not a stick!

Ram Dass, an American spiritual teacher, said, “Make friends with change.” He made this statement after surviving a life-threatening stroke that left him paralyzed and unable to speak.  With years of therapy, he regained some speech but remained wheelchair-bound*. He views his stroke as an act of grace that deepened his understanding of life and the purpose of suffering. With his grateful attitude and a glimpse of deeper understanding, he advises that we might as well open our arms to change.  Aging is just one long stream of changes. Those who seem to navigate old age best become experts at adjusting, improvising, and embracing the new freedoms and new limitations that are a part of the journey. Rather than fighting against change, we can open the door to creative new thoughts and new possibilities.

I had a very wise mentor in my life who said You can either be a stick or a string.  If you’re a stick, you are always pushing back. A rigid attitude means that you can only accept a limited number of options. There are times when being stubborn is beneficial, but usually, it is because we refuse new facts and conditions.  Barry Sternlicht, an American businessman, says, “As the facts change, change your thesis. Don’t be a stubborn mule.” When you’re a string, you’re flexible. You can be very creative with a string, and it will serve many purposes. But the stick can only be a stick, and if you try to make it bend, it breaks. Embracing change is about being a string and making adjustments as we go. It is challenging to plan for a significant change---a devastating illness, loss of a loved one---but we can practice by being flexible with the small changes in our life.

*Ram Dass died in 2019