Tangled Virtues

Excerpt from daily Cures, Wisdom for Healthy Aging Connie Mason Michaelis

According to the dictionary, “A virtue is a positive trait or quality deemed to be morally good and thus is valued as a foundation of principle and good moral being.”  Words such as kindness, charity, patience, temperance, justice, wisdom, diligence, humility, and honesty come to mind. Personal virtues are valued as promoting collective greatness. The dilemma occurs when characteristics that are universally considered virtuous come into conflict with each other. A good example of that happens when families are in disagreement about their loved one downsizing out of the family home and into a senior living community.  One family member is trying their best to honor the elder’s wishes to stay in their home while another is adamantly pressing for wisdom, meaning safety and security for their parent.  Mix that in with honesty and justice and you have the potential for a family feud! 

That is one more reason to begin to plan for the future early.  When health and mobility are good, be wise; start investigating living options.  Make a plan for the future lifestyle you want.  Be the designers of your future.  When you are in denial about the aging process, you lose out on this valuable opportunity.  When you begin to create a plan of action for the future, your enthusiasm builds. You can more easily start sharing your thoughts with family and friends.  Family members are trying to do the right thing, but the whole scenario could be smoothed by early planning.  So have an honest conversation with your family.  Be wise and plan.  Be patient with the process and your family.  Practice diligence in getting educated.  Be open to your future, and begin to explore options. We cannot dictate the future, but we can dream, design, and plan, and most of all, remain flexible.  As my favorite mentor says, “Be 100% scripted and 50% flexible.”