What Are Your Goals?

Excerpt from Daily Cures, Wisdom for Healthy Aging by Connie Mason Michaelis

In another article, I wrote an enthusiastic recommendation for Dr. Atul Gawande and his book Being Mortal.  His message is directed to the medical community and elders to make an informed decision about their continuing care.  He says, “There is a messy intersection of science and human fallibility.”  When more treatments and more medications prolong life beyond even what the patient desires, there needs to be a candid conversation.  He suggests a simple question that might spare both the doctor and the patient lots of grief.  The physician’s question is, “What are your goals for your care?  How can I help you?”  In other words, the doctor needs to know, apart from his technical knowledge, what it is that the patient wants. Is it quality or quantity of life?  How straight-forward can it be?  There could easily be some revelations in the conversation!

It occurred to me that we could use that same model and apply it to deciding where we should live as we age.  What are your goals for the next chapters of your life?  What is the best way to achieve those goals?  Do you want to stay independent, give up home maintenance, have privacy, feel safe, stay physically and mentally healthy, have friends, and new activities to pursue?  Is your goal to stay in your own home as long as possible?  That is an admirable goal, but if safety and security are also goals, there may come a time when you have to make a choice.   Take a piece of paper and write down your goals for the future.  Be honest and candid. Consider what you would want if you were suddenly widowed. What is the best environment to live in that will support your goals? If you haven’t done it already, it’s time to give this serious consideration!